Put a stake in it vampires, you’re done, ‘cause Zombies have taken center stage. Wassup with our never-ending love of zombies? I know its Halloween and all, but I can barely click 10 stations in any direction without stumbling across one of those lurching, rotting creatures just dying for a taste of (my) liver. I mean this is no Food Network challenge. This is a bunch of very hungry, post-apocalyptic dudes looking to tear you and me from limb to limb and eat us carpaccio. They’re not big on roasting.
I admit I watch The Walking Dead. I don’t exactly know why (but it might have something to do with the hunky sheriff Rick). I like seeing the special effects and watching the gang of humans squash the zombies like bugs in all kinds of novel ways. There are picks and machetes and bayonets (yup the b word again) and poles and arrows and axes…you name it and this gang uses it to put the zombies out of their ever lovin’ misery.
Zombies have been around for a while. I know this for a fact. There’s the Night of the Living Dead which forced me to use a nightlight well into my 20s, Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead and 28 Days Later for starters. And now with almost a full moon and Halloween, the streets will be teeming with them.
I’ve always found it interesting that these kidney-eating monsters don’t really move that fast. I mean, a snail has a chance at a get-away if the zombie gets a taste for escargot. So, all ya really need is to avoid their bite while you drill them with a nail gun. If you’re bitten, you’re kinda screwed cause then you’ll turn into a zombie, too, and shamble around in very dirty clothes looking for your next al dente meal.
And if you see some tonight, or some other night, walking in slo-mo and dripping blood? Got two words for you — RUN FAST.