Photo courtesy of retailmenot.com
I’m not ready for the holiday season. I’ve planned poorly, I’m broke, my credit is bad, and I don’t even know what anyone wants.
What’s my solution? That’s a good question. I guess you could say that I’m taking the Trump approach. I have no plan, no policy, but it’s really, really going to be great, believe me.
In all seriousness, it’s going to be difficult to fulfill everyone’s holiday wishes this year. But that’s not to say it’s going to be a complete wash, at least not for me. Because I have the greatest gift of all: a silver lining. And with that in mind, let’s take a look at why this holiday season is playing right into the palm of my hand:
- Not to brag, but I’ll inevitably be on the winning end of this holiday season. People have more money to spend on me than I do on them, but I’ll be sure to get everyone back next year after I graduate.
- I have no significant other. That means I get to cut my holiday spending in half. And double my free time, which will probably be spent searching for a significant other.
- I can avoid cumbersome holiday events, like White Elephant gift exchanges or family get-togethers. Here’s what I’ll say, “I can’t afford it, but tell them I wish I could’ve been there!” Boom. Easy as that. And I don’t have to answer those awkward family questions over and over again. I’ve been in college for 7 years now, please stop asking me how it is.
- People don’t expect much out of me. They know I’m an unpaid intern, a title that carries two specific implications:
- I can’t afford extravagant gifts
- People want to “help me out.” Their words, not mine.
Now before you rush to pass judgment, I can assure you that I’m not as bad a person as this blog makes me out to be. And I’m definitely no Scrooge. I’m a great gift-giver. I’m just broke, so give me a break this year.
I say all these things in a half-joking manner, but the reality is that as long as I do some holiday preparation—regardless of how minimal it may be—I’ll be fine. If you’re in the same boat as me, do yourself a favor and relax.
Holiday anxiety is very real. There’s nothing more comforting then someone else saying they haven’t started shopping yet, but don’t let that become your excuse. Don’t be the last one to get everything done.
Grab your gifts, grab your ugly sweater, send out your Christmas cards, check yes or no on your party invitations, and take a deep breath. It’ll all be over soon.
Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about Trump.