NOT YOUR AVERAGE JO
Author: Risë Birnbaum
“X” MARKS THE SPOT ON THE GLASS CEILING
MARCO-A-GO-GO!
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I’ve been a TV addict since I was two years old which probably started with “Romper Room.” My taste has changed over the years and my latest habit is “The Affair,” which I have a running date with Sunday nights for the last season and three-quarters.
For you non-watchers, “The Affair” is a drama about a Brooklyn family that summers in Montauk with the wife’s wealthy parents. The husband, Noah, starts off as a full-time teacher/part-time unsuccessful writer, and then meets a sexy waitress which ignites a torrid affair that blows apart two families – his and Alison’s, the woman of his obsession. It’s a steamy series with lots of drugs, sex and rock n’ roll as well as a mysterious hit and run (or not). The writers usually tell the story from one of the main character’s POV, so we get two versions of the story per episode. That is, until last night when all hell broke loose and my guess is the writers were replaced by interns.
Last night’s show was “One Life to Live” meets “Twister.” Here’s an instant replay: a hurricane in March, sex in the rec room with kids upstairs, a drunk, on-call surgeon on Tinder, a party with more lines than a Stella painting, an indoor pool scene right out of “Wild Things,” a tough birth in a hospital with just one doc, no meds and no nurses, a stoned Noah with his car stuck in the mud, more sex, and a primo property beach shack going up in flames. Whoa. I was on a Facebook thread throughout the show just trying to keep up with all the non-stop, heart-racing, mind-blowing craziness.
I literally don’t know what the producers and writers had in mind for this last show and realize the storm was a metaphor that covered life and death and fame and flames, but it was one big, hot mess.
But, just like my addiction to Oreos, I am still hooked on this show and sorry there are only three more episodes this year. Just hope the writing gets tighter (and saner), and they figure out a way to keep the tension up and story going into another season. But, I have one request of the producers – please, please, please change the Fiona Apple intro song. If I hear that dissonant, depressing, disturbing tune one more time, I think I’ll sink back into the ocean.
TOUGH TO KEEP ABREAST OF CHANGING GUIDELINES
Nope, I’m not a doc, nor do I play one on TV, but I keep up on the latest health news, and the latest breast cancer guidelines shook me up and gave me a headache. Advil anyone? Oh, wait, I forgot that Advil now causes strokes. The three organizations backing these big changes are: The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, The American Cancer Society and the U.S. Preventive Task Force.
So, now the big 3 are saying women should start getting mammograms at 45 vs. 40, and that we all can skip the routine manual breast checks by docs. If that’s what the science shows, then I wish I had known that a few years back. And yet, there’s a big part of my brain that says hold on here – what’s the real harm in mammograms and breast checks (especially when I know so many women who caught their breast cancer between 40 and 45)?
Here’s what the docs are saying: False positives run higher in women under 45 which might mean a biopsy and a real scare for women who don’t actually have cancer. I get that. But not sure that’s enough of a reason to skip the checks. And the docs go on to say that the literature (not Shakespeare) shows that mammograms at 40 and breast checks are minimally helpful in detecting cancer and saving a life. But what about “Better safe than sorry?”
And somehow $$$ is always a factor. Medicare covers screening mammograms for 40 year olds and over. Will that mean that coverage will change to cover 45 year olds and younger women will have to pay out of pocket? If so, mammograms can range from $80-$200. Worth it? I still think so, but I’ve been lucky so far in every possible way. One thing is for sure – these shifting guidelines are confusing and mind-blowing at the same time. And if they ever definitively find out that regular mammograms cause more cancer than find it, I (and many of my friends) am screwed.
BISON SEES RED OVER SELFIE
You know it might be time to shelf the selfies when a bison decides to take matters into its own hooves. All the action took place at Yellowstone National Park where the bison are very at home on the range. Unfortunately, a woman tried to snap a selfie with one of the wild beasts. Not the best idea. The woman… Read more →
BYE BYE BRUCE, HELLO CAITLYN
It’s Trans-Jenner Time Risë Birnbaum Just when you think you’ve heard and seen it all…there’s more. World — meet Caitlyn. Caitlyn is gracing the July cover of Vanity Fair and, yes, Caitlyn used to be Bruce. Annie Leibovitz captured Caitlyn for a cover that will go down in history about a his-to-her story. No, this is not a still from… Read more →