By Risë Birnbaum
They’re back. Those spongy, springy vanilla cakes loaded with creamy filling. Fans are rushing the stores for the addictive cello-wrapped favorites, but some are not so thrilled. It seems they’re a bit smaller than they were in 2012. Back then, a box of twinkies weighed a hefty 15 ounces. Now they weigh 13.58 ounces. But, Hostess says the boxes are virtually the same as when they went out of business so I guess case closed.
But, there’s more. It seems the shelf-life on the newborn twinkies is now 45 days compared to the previous 26-day shelf-life. Don’t know about you, but I have zero (nada, zilch) interest in what they’ve put in them to keep them “fresher.” Can’t be all that good for us, can it? Hoping my gummy multi-vites do the trick.
As a kid, I would stop at a candy store after elementary and middle school and dive for the chocolate snacks. The monkey on my back included devil dogs, ring dings, yodels, ding dongs and scooter pies. If I veered off my chocolate track it was for an occasional coffee cake jr.
I also lived in Teaneck, New Jersey, a town that had Butterflake. one of the best bakeries in the country, if not the world. And every Friday my mother made sure we had a chocolate covered ring of marble cake and crumb buns to last the weekend. Think I semi-demolished them by Saturday noon or at least licked the crumb buns bald.
Am I influenced by the news? You bet I am. I‘m very tuned into Mark Bittman and the rallying cry for healthier, more sustainable foods. In fact I loaded up my Whole Foods cart last night with fresh fruits, dried fruits, veggies, super foods and organic crackers (taste a bit like twine). The crackers are so dry you need one of those green, kale-infused super food shakes as a chaser. (Actually, not as bad as they look.)
Twinkies don’t do it for me and never did, but I understand the iconic nature of the product and brand. That’s something my fellow PR veterans helped keep front and center over the decades. But, put a devil dog and glass of milk (2%) in front of me and I’m putty in your hands. And if their shelf-life is 75 days, all the better.